Who I Work With
Underneath most fights is a question: are you still there for me?
Couples rarely come in because of what they fight about. They come in because of how the fights go — the same circle every time, one of you pushing harder while the other pulls away, and both of you feeling more alone in the relationship than out of it. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you see the pattern you're both caught in, and reach for each other again underneath it.
Why do we keep having the same fight?
Because the fight usually isn't about the dishes, the money, or the in-laws. It's about connection — whether you matter to each other, and whether the other person will show up when it counts. When that feels uncertain, partners fall into a protective cycle: one reaches harder (criticizing, pursuing), the other protects (defending, withdrawing). Each move makes sense on its own, and together they keep you both stuck.
How I work: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT is an attachment-based model developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy. We map the cycle together so it becomes the problem, not either of you.
Then we slow down to the feelings and needs underneath the reactions — the fear, hurt, and longing that rarely get said out loud — and help you express them in ways your partner can actually take in. I've trained in EFT, and stayed in ongoing EFT supervision and consultation, since 2014.
Who this is for
- Couples caught in recurring arguments, or in growing silence and distance
- Feeling like roommates, or lonely inside the relationship
- Recovering from a hurt or betrayal that hasn't healed
- Navigating a major transition — a new baby, a move, illness, an empty nest
- Partners who love each other but can't seem to reach each other
Is it too late for couples therapy?
Often not. Many couples arrive thinking they’ve waited too long, and find the bond is more reachable than it felt.That said, there is a sweet spot, and it’s usually sooner than people think. Most couples wait years after a problem starts before reaching out, and by then the cycle has hardened and the hurt has piled up.
If the same fight keeps coming back, or you’ve started to feel more alone than close, that’s a good time to come in. You don’t need to wait for a crisis. And if one or both of you is genuinely unsure whether to stay, that’s worth saying early. We can name it honestly and decide together what kind of work makes sense.
What this work is not
Couples therapy is clinical work to strengthen your relationship. It isn't mediation or a legal process, and I don't take on divorce coaching, mediation, or co-parenting work for couples I've seen in couples therapy — each role stays separate, for your protection.
Ready to step out of the cycle?
Reach out for a complimentary 15-minute phone or Zoom consultation. I keep a limited number of couples spots, so we'll talk about where things stand and whether this is a good fit.
Schedule a Consultation